San Diego

Visiting San Diego for the week reminds me of living in NYC as a kid. It is more city like compared to where we live in Northern California. 

The apartment my brother has is very nice and large. He has two balconies, two bed and two bath and nice living room and kitchen area.  He tells me he pays over 2K a month in just rent. Parking is just underneath the building and its gated, they have events daily, a nice large pool, gym and game room.  The location is ideal, there are two malls within walking distance of the complex. He could also take a trolly to the mall, which is a great idea to avoid driving and trying to find parking.  One mall is what my bother calls 'regular' and the other its 'high end' lol.  I guess its based on the types of stores located within the mall.  Both malls are 'outdoors' and nice.   He is in a perfect location for a bachelor.  There is also a strip mall across the street.

When I say its like being in the city its because there are tons of cars.  So either your dealing with people on bikes, walking or the sheer volume of cars.  While trying to sleep we kept the door opened up a crack, to keep the room cool.  All hours of the night all you heard were cars, trucks and motorcycles loud enough to wake a 3 mile radius!  Its very loud when you open the windows.

It is a very convenient location.

Traveling to San Diego

While living in Northern California it feels that any 'popular place' in California is super close.  We are just outside of San Fransisco so there are quite a few places near by,  LA is just about 6 hours south from our location and San Diego is a bit south from there.  Most popular places in California is a short drive away.  Add in traffic time and the travel time is still not to shabby.

The drive down I5 is long and boring, to top it of phone signal is sketchy in many locations.  There are some beautiful landscapes along the way but the cow farm is not one of them. The stench lasts for miles!  And thats in both directions.  Once you get to the mountain, AKA THE GRAPEVINE the drive gets tricky as you are driving up hill for a bit, then just over the crest, and downhill.  If you driving a car that cant handle inclines try another lol.  Watch out for speeding on the downhill as I am sure cops are waiting for you to pick up speed and get caught at the bottom. 

On the other side of the mountain you eventually reach LA and the traffic starts.  Getting thru this city is always hectic and if it happens to be the 'witching hour' you in for some hell.  Once past Disneyland traffic seams to open up and moving again.

From start to end it took a total of 9 hours door to door.

Disclaimer: All my post are about my experience and is not advice in any situation.

School out here in Vacaville California

Its been a year since my child started attending school in California. Rules seem to be a bit different than back in New York.  Last year when we were finding out information we were informed that we had to register our child at the local school on August 1st.  The school we were zoned for depended on our address.  When we finally got an address we called the district again, confirmed which school we were zoned for, and what we needed for registration.  

August 1st came and I was still living in New York with my child, so my husband had to go to the school and do all the registering.  They said he was lucky to get it, many people don't get to attend their zoned school when it fills up. And this particular school happens to be one of those.  This school apparently has one of the highest ratings in the district and they allow kids zoned for other schools to attend, so it fills up fast. I don't know the exact in and outs on how it works but apparently you can register your child for any school in any county. How crazy is that?

Well since she was registered for August 1st, she was expected to attend school beginning the first day of school.  The first day of school was Wednesday, August 14th, and well we were still living in New York.  Since we were driving from NY to CA we knew we wouldn't arrive in CA until at least the following Thursday, August 22nd.  We thought nothing of it, I mean the first week or so is basically review right?

Wrong!  We took our journey across the country and did arrive in California on that Thursday, so I figured we should have her attend school that Friday to feel it out and get into the swing on Monday. School started over two weeks sooner than in New York, that alone is something to adjust too.   It was a short time after that we started getting letters from the school and the police about truancy. No joke here, at first I was tossing them in the trash cause I thought it was a mistake. Turns our my child was labeled a truant because she missed 7 days of school, which was too many days in a short time. I had to speak with the school cause it was a crazy idea.

The people on the office were really nice to me about it. I find out that this is Standard Operating Procedure for absences and I couldn't do anything about it. I explained that we were living in NY at the time and she couldn't attend school, and mind you it was also told to them upon registration. The process is based on the number of days of school that have passed and the number of absences and some kind of calculation that figured the percentage was too high. It was going to be 'months' before she fell off the list of truancy.  They were able to indicate the absences were 'excused' the only thing it stopped was the letters from the police department.  I mean those letters were general, they weren't addressed to me personally, just another form letter that was mailed out. It may not have even been from the police, it could have been the district sending them out. 

She did end up missing another few days of school last year but we were able to 'excuse' them in advance cause we knew about them. No issues with those and the 'percentage' wasn't high enough to get those letters again.  

The school it self is decent.  My child is a straight A student and a peer tutor. Not that Im bragging! 

We did have a small attendance incident this year. One day I had gotten a call and an email telling me my child was not in school today. I freaked out!  I mean I know we dropped her off why would they tell me she was not in class. So on I go marched into the office the very next morning to complain and was even able to see the teacher that morning.  Everyone was apologizing to me for the error.   Its all computerized and with the click of the button you can easily marked the wrong child absent.  I was ready to throw down! Like she ate lunch how is that possible if she wasn't there! She did her homework that was graded by the teacher, again how can that be if she was absent!  It was an easy fix, easier than I thought it would be. 

My brother had told me that the schools in California are not that great but my child seems to be doing well. He's lived in Southern  California for a number of years.   So either its too easy or maybe he was wrong. 

The one thing that bothers me is that there are no school buses in this area. I mean I have seen them around but I believe its for special education students only.  Budget cuts are probably the reason for it. The school zones are pretty large, we reside just over a mile away from the school. I would not allow my child to walk that distance alone as some of the streets are very wide and well the crossing guards are only on the street where the school is or immediately across from it.  If we had school buses I could put her on it and not have to drive over there.  There are SO many cars on the front and back side of the school entrances, people that live in that neighborhood complain almost on a daily basis due to the traffic and congestion all these cars bring.  We've seen the principal directing traffic as well as the police.

Disclaimer: Do you own research, all my writing is just my experience and is not to replace any professional advice.   

My irritation from this weekend

This past Sunday I went to the market, no big deal everyone does this. Parked, went in and  shopped, checked out and walked up to MY car and for a bit I thought it wasn't MY car.  It was the same make, the same model, the same color.. but something was wrong.  I noticed these silver frames around the license place and I knew it wasn't MY car. I don't have that on my car, never had anything around my license plates before.  So whats going on?

Looked at the plate again and well, no I do not know my plate number by heart, yet.  I walk to the door and it opens, so it is my car.  But wait, walk back to the rear and again see these ugly silver license place covers on my car. Where did they come from?

It rattled in my mind all Sunday until my husband woke up, he works nights so he sleeps during the day, he laughed when I told him what happened.  We guessed that when he took my car in for an oil change the Friday before the dealer must have put them on the car. I haven't driven since then so hadn't noticed.

I was irritated! Like why would they do that? Who gave them permission to do that?  Its like defacing my car? I never purchased the car there, I only took it there for an oil change.  We go to the dealer cause we have this prepaid oil change package at Toyota so we go to a dealer for service. Any dealer that takes the plan, I didn't call the dealer about what had happened cause whats the point, I just won't return there anymore.

Monday morning I walked to my car, screwdriver in hand and removed them from my car.  Into the trash they go!  It was victorious for me.  I told my husband when he woke up and he asked why, saying they looked good.  So there I was irritated again....  these people did not sell me the car, they have no right to advertise on MY car, I don't go around wearing a "----------" (INSERT STORE NAME HERE) T-shirt because I purchased something from there.  I don't like purchasing those kind of shirts, tons of stores do that. You buy those shirts for $5 and advertise for them. You think 'hey I got a deal a shirt for a low price' but in the end you become A walking billboard for that company.  They don't pay you to do that.  You can say we have shopping bags indicating we shopped there but that bag is there for a matter of minutes from the time you go to the cash register, to your car and then to your house. How long does anyone really sees those bags? A license plate cover is on your car everywhere you go!  Maybe you want to show everyone where you purchased your car and thats your prerogative, but I refuse.

Having a retail business I know how expensive it can get to advertise but was I slapping stickers on people cars? Or leaving flyers on windshields? No,  I sold custom invitations and never placed advertising on the back of the cards, its just tacky!  

Besides with them being silver and reflective, worry wart that I am imagined someone behind me getting hit with the sun flashing in the frame and crashing into me or someone else driving.  Not only that, if the frames cover the sticker on your plate you could potentially get a ticket, now who wants that?

The hiatus is over!

Its been over 6 months and I haven't blogged anything. I got into this funk that people are not reading what I write, why would they care and why do I care enough to write anything.

Well I realized that this is sort of a form of therapy for me. If I was writing about my life or my business it kept me occupied, and at least I was writing something.  There were nights I would stay awake for hours with things on my mind, I would tell stories in my head and I was so scatter brained the story I ended with would be a totally different story than the one I started with! 

My husband started calling me bipolar, I am not a therapist and have no desire to see one nor can I diagnose anyone, I like to call myself an emotional wreckage.  I saw Frozen in the theater last year and I cried hysterically.  We just saw Big Hero 6 and once again I cried hysterically, I was extremely irritated yesterday morning and yet wonderful at days end,  I am a nervous wreck when no ones home and elated when everyone is home. Some days I can't sleep and others I can't get up!  My husband notices that my moods change so frequently and says its eerie and I got issues.  But whatever, it is what it is....

Im going to keep writing to keep my sanity and maybe I won't have these crazy ideas and thoughts keeping me up at night.  For once Id like to fall asleep as quickly as he does and stay asleep all night, get up refreshed. 

I have tons to share and talk about, having lived in California for a year now I have got the lay of the land!  So much I want to say, like do I miss New York?  Na! The only thing I miss is the ability to drive an hour and visit my family.  Yea sounds like a huge thing but I wouldn't go back there to live. Im going to be a tourist when I visit New York. Go see the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building, the new World Trade Centers and the monument.  You know living there for 'ever' I have never visited these places. Its pretty sad to say. Besides I hear its really cold out there these days, I am happy here in the 70's during the day and 50's at night. It may get colder in the upcoming months but one things I am sure of is that there won't be any snow! 

Shopping in California

Its taken us a while to locate a supermarket we like to shop at.  We have shopped them all, the expensive ones, the 'cheap' ones, the dirty ones and the one that we like. While Im not going to mention the store names cause they aint paying me, Im just going to talk about things Ive noticed.

Being out here 6 months and shopping all over the place I figured Id mention this:

Stores: There are a TON of stores to choose from and depending on your style of shopping it will tell you which store may work better for you.  You got the national chain shopping stores, the local to the area stores, and the west coast chain store.

Brands:  Many brand names you are familiar with on the east coast dont exist here on the west coast and vice versa.

Same logo different name:  I thought this was funny, I recognize the logo but the name is different.  These brands actually have a little sentence on their product saying something like 'known as *** east of the rockies' so you know its the same product just different name. I dont get why but many companies do this.

Found items:  Items I was searching for 'FOREVER' in New York exist out here in California!  I had been searching for this cereal which happen to be sold out here in California, again I dont get it.

CRV: No not the car, CRV stands for California Redemption Value. Beverages you purchase they will charge you a CRV - its similar to bottle deposit in NY - it varies based on the ounces of the continuers either 5 or 10 cents per bottle. So your beverage cans, bottles and plastic drinks will be charged an additional 5 or 10 cents upon purchase.  You then have to locate a recycling center to return them to get your money back. Thing is your refunded by weight, do you get your money back? Dunno exactly a glass may be heavier then a plastic container but if you paid 5 cents for each you may get 10 cents back, you may get more or less. Its hard to calculate.

Recycling: Not sure if some places require it but where we live they dont but we opt to do it. Thing is it involved taking everything to the center, what a pain in the butt!  No you dont get paid for the 'other' items you recycle.

Prices:  Well this is a tough one as I do not remember prices of things in NY, we are not spending any more then we were while living in NY so I guess they are pretty much the same as they were in NY.

Disclaimer: My messages are not meant to replace any professional advice its just my experience with various events. 

Driving in Northern California

Well Ive been here for about 6 months now and Im going to talk about drivers out here.

While living in New York every time we encountered a horrible driver we would say 'They must be from Jersey' lol - No offense but thats just what everyone would say.  Like  when we were bowling if you hit the pins on the opposite side we would call it 'Jersey'. Any who, I learned how to drive at a driving school some 20 years ago in New York City, or the Chelsea area of Manhattan. If you have ever driven in NYC you know what I have been through learning how to drive around taxi cabs and all.  Im starting to wonder if drivers here are from Jersey.

Driving around here in Northern California Ive seen so many things that would warrant a HUGE ticket if they did that in NYC. Maybe they are just not getting caught but I cant believe the rules are any different - aren't those things universal?

1. No one signals! You know that little clicky think on the left side of the steering wheel you push up or down to let others know what your doing!  No one uses it around here and it makes me nuts! OK I know if can happen in NY too but its outrageous here.  And sitting in the turning lane doesn't exempt one from using one.  Use the freaking signal!

2. Wrong Lane! People turn into the wrong lane! What do I mean?  Your sitting in the right lane waiting to make, well a right turn, what lane do you go into when you actually complete the turn?  The right lane right?  No, people out here will make a turn into any lane they want and thats dangerous.  Especially since right turns are allowed on red lights, with so many turning lanes and the ability to make U-turns at many intersections it leaves to many chances of causing an accident.  Ever been at an intersection with two turning lanes?  Yes many drivers will cross over into the other lanes while traffic is moving during the turn! Talk about scary and dangerous, stay in your lane people! It makes me bonkers, they must hate me when I make the turn into the correct lane and then switch into the other lane like your supposed to. Thing is if I dont move fast enough other drivers will go into the lane to be sure to pass me by!  The DH just had this happen today!  Two lanes making a left and the person along side him decides to merge into his lane!

3. Tailgating! OMG its all over the place I swear they are in my trunk when I look in the mirror.  Someone is bound to rear end another!

4. People with trucks (F150, Tundra, etc.) are very aggressive, especially towards Prius drivers!  If you haven't figured it out I drive a Prius and every time there is a truck near by they rev the engine and do what they can to get in front of me.  Im not a slow driver but I follow the rules and obey speed limit laws.

5. Yellow is basically the signal to speed up and get thru the intersection as fast as possible.

6. Red lights! OMG - I have never in my life seen so many people going thru red lights! There are postings at various intersections that say minimum red light ticket is $400! I wouldn't even chance it as many locations take pictures of violators.

7. Speed Demons - Get on the highway and there speed demons everywhere! Just a few days ago I was driving on I80 heading to San Francisco. This Corvette flew by me like I was standing still. Of course I said 'jerk, I hope you get pulled over.' About 7 minutes later I saw that same car pulled over by 2 CHP! Justice finally....

I recently took a job which involved driving and so I had to take a driving class and go thru driving training, most of these things I have spoken of are against the law.  If I didn't drive that vehicle correctly I wouldn't get the job. The one thing they actually told me was if they light turned yellow just go thru it as everyone in California does it and it wouldn't count against me. Furthermore you don't want someone to rear end you.

Living in a new place can cause you to change your ways and pick up bad habits, keep yourself sane and safe by not doing that.

Drive Safe people.

Finding a place to live in California

Since we dont know anyone we had no idea where to start with anything. We knew what general area we were going to live in but without any knowledge we had to guess. We were sure we didnt want to buy a house, we were going to rent to start off and figure out what area we really want to live in.

The area we are in is called Northern California and I have also heard the East Bay area. We are between Sacramento, Napa and San Francisco. There are tons of towns in the area.  We knew where the job was going to be so it was a matter of finding a place not to far away. Friends from work gave suggestions of course but we ended up staying in the Vacaville area. It reminds me of a mixture of 'city' and 'rural' area.  Sort of in between the two.

Now in New York we grew up in the city so there were dozens of buildings were hundreds of people lived, corner bodegas, pizzerias, chinese places galore. Public transportation was a skip away! Many places were open 24 hours, you know NYC.  Well most recently we lived about an hour and a half north west of the city.  A tiny town called Florida, New York.  What I mean by tiny was that there are two traffic lights and side walks were only found just a bit past the traffic lights.  We lived just outside the village and there were no sidewalks, no public transportation, no corner bodegas and everything basically closed by 9pm, even the gas station was closed by 10pm.  We had to drive 7 miles to the nearest supermarket, or well over 12 miles to get to major stores.

When I came out to visit we drove around to the little towns around and we liked Vacaville the best.  There are sidewalks, there is public transportation, and a ton of shops.  Walking around was a plus.

We weighed in on renting a house or renting in an apartment complex. Here is my list of pros and cons for both:

Renting a house meant:  You get a house to live in, no one living under you or above you, majority of the houses out here have fenced in yards, somewhat private, rural, maybe safer. However dealing with a home owner may not be the best, many of them list with a real estate company which mean additional fees, they require a deposit equal to the rent, they ask for an additional deposit if you have pets, some of them want two months deposit, the houses are what we like to call on top of each other, there is very little property between the homes, renting a house means the renter is responsible for mowing the lawn, watering the lawn, basically maintaining the home your renting.  Homeowner can sell the house at anytime leaving you potentially homeless.

Renting an apartment:  Your in a community, almost all the complexes we viewed had a pool, gym, play area, community room, none of the complexes are higher then 3 stories, then again none of them had elevators either, many are more centralized and therefore closer to shops and more, the deposits are a lot less, they do ask for an additional deposit for pets. The issues: You have people either on top of you, beneath you or both, if your on the first floor you will have more people 'looking in' so a lot less privacy - some people put up these bamboo looking fence, if your building allows smoking and your neighbor under you choose to smoke especially on the balcony the smoke will travel up, if you have pets they all have some type of pet restrictions - on weight, the quantity, the breed, and more. They also all ask for PET RENT! This is extra money you have to pay a month in addition to your rent! Some of them charge it per pet!  If you want a designated parking spot you have to pay more for a carport spot or garage space. The lease was close to 40 pages long, READ IT! They have rules on satellite TV and some ask for an additional deposit for that. The 'rules' are just crazy - the lease says you cant use those sticky hook things that dont make holes on the walls, they have a specific way you are allowed to hang something in the walls and more. We have nothing on the walls they are bare but we have passed others with things in their walls, guess they dont care lol.  This complex had individual water meters per apartment, many of them are grouped by building and then averaged out. So if your in a building with people that dont care about water you could end of paying a lot more then your actually using which I thought sucked.

When we finally found a place that we thought was a good fit we applied. Now we had to pay $40 per person apply, if our kids were over 18 we would have to pay for them too!  We then went out to the movies while our papers were being processed. Imagine our horror when we got a call telling us we were denied. Shocked we had to investigate and since it was the weekend we couldnt do anything about it till Monday. We were so pissed. This company called On-site does the processing, apparently its popular on the west coast to use this company. We finally found out why we were denied. They informed us that this company that did a check on us says we have a judgement for non payment of rent in 2006. Actually I had it under my name!  We said its impossible since we have owned a home since 2002 and recently had our credit reports printed because of some other things we knew there was nothing there.  I finally was able to get the actual report and it showed two peoples name that was not mine nor my husbands name. The strange thing was one of the persons names for the judgement had my middle name as a first name and my maiden name as a last name. So again even more pissed I finally called the company Monday morning to complain, the person I spoke too actually laughed and said yes I can see this person is not you and was going to delete it and resubmit it.  We were waiting again another day before they gave us to go ahead.

Applying to another place would have given us the same issue as they ALL use the same company.  We would have lost another $80 applying again.  The other thing we didnt like was how the other complexes were operating.

When we asked about the rent we were told they run on supply and demand.  Confused we asked what they were talking about. Turns out during the summer is peak mainly because of school zones (people moving to get their kids into a certain school - being zoned is better apparently - more on school later) , they have a lot of demand and low supply which meant the prices of the rent will rise. From the first day the DH looked at the apartment and a few days later when we went together about renting the price went up by almost $100.  This is apparently normal.  If its winter there may be more apartments and not enough demand so rent will be lower. It just didnt make sense to me and I thought that was horrible. The apartment complex we ended up with had a flat rate for the apartments and that was it, I liked that!

We've lived in this place for about 6 months and we like it so far. The office is great with collecting packages if your not home, the maintenance guys arrive pretty quickly, its fairly quiet, we can walk to restaurants, shops and more, theres a pool and BBQ area! What I dont like is people do not pick up after their pets and we have stepped in poop a few times, when it rains the dirt smells! Now it only rained once but it was horrible smelling.  There are stray cats everywhere! People seem to move in and out A LOT. Now there are military families in the area so that could be the reason. No one seems to chat with anyone else, it is kind of discouraging.

Since moving out here we have found out so many things I have decided that Im going to blog about it.  It sucks to have to find things out when its too late or because you had no idea!

Moved to California

Its been a while since I have blogged and Ill admit its because Ive been depressed.  The past few months have been so stressful I just cant get myself to do anything.  I dont think I have ever been so stressed.

Let see:  The DH left in March for that business trip, gone for three weeks. Came back just after Easter for about 3 weeks and left again to start the new job in California. I had to close my gift store at the end of April, we moved all my stuff to storage and we spent our 10 year anniversary having a garage sale and he left a few days later on Mother's Day.  I spent the next few weeks packing, donating and selling everything in our house and in storage. All alone as my DH was in California working.

At the end of June I flew out to California for 10 days where the DH showed me around and so we could find a place to live. 10 days to do all this when we had not seen each other for about 5 weeks.  We did find a place to rent which he moved into at the start of July, he was living in a hotel his job put him in.  July 1 I had to fly back to New York.  Finished selling everything else that I could, donating even more stuff, more garage sales, and finally planning for the actual move. I found out my older sons were not going with me and I was devastated.

After much back and forth we finally decided to use ABF to move our our stuff that we were taking and we were going to drive across the country.  Something I was dreading.  Mid August DH flies back to NY and we just finished as much as we could. I did a lot but of course it wasnt enough.  In a matter of 4 days we cleaned, packed the ABF truck, loaded our car and left.

I have a Prius so imagine myself, the DH and my youngest, along with the dog and two cats.  Almost 2900 miles, 5 days, 4 hotels, fast foods, meowing and dog whimpering we made it to California. Left my whole family, friends and everything I was used to, to come and live in a new place.

Now dont get me wrong its nice living in California. The weather is actually very nice and Im looking forward to living in a place without snow but I have not left this apartment in 2 months.  I dont know anyone and I cant figure out where to start.  Ive never felt so lost before, so alone.  I keep a strong facade but inside Im crying.